STATUS: Tuesday, July 14th

The Daily Report

Thinking about holding onto things past the point of usefulness has got me examining some of my habits and modes of thinking. When I was younger, dealing with school and then jobs I worked because I had to, I acquired the habit of lying in bed as long as possible before getting up and wishing/hoping that when I look at the clock it will be early enough that I can roll over and get back to sleep, or just close my eyes and keep a pleasant fantasy going a little longer.

I believe this kind of escape was essential to my emotional survival in high school, and maybe useful in early adulthood. But now? I don’t have a job I dread. I have a job that means I don’t need to be alone and ensconced in blankets to close my eyes and retreat into a fantasy world. There are of course days when I have a hard time making the transition from asleep to awake for physiological reasons, but that’s not what I’m talking about here.

This is a habit that is maladaptive to my current life. It hampers my ability to have a set start time for my work, since waiting for the last possible minute means I’m usually eating breakfast and squaring things away at the official Start of Day. It robs me of the chance to do a little recreational reading or play a quick game at the best part of the day for it.

By the time I had this chain of thoughts this morning, it was already coming up on 10, but it’s something I’m going to keep in mind in the coming days.

The State of the Me

Doing well. Late yesterday I realized that at a certain point in the early spring, when I organized my pill bottles, I had inadvertently put my brain-stimulating ginkgo-ginseng combo pills away in a place where I don’t look for them. This might help explain why I’ve had such a hard time focusing even when my dopamine levels have been pretty decent.

Plans For Today

Yesterday went fairly well with the alternating hours. I’m going to be doing something similar today, but with more writing/fun bits, some of the fruits of which I’m planning on posting here. Explaining more would be giving something away.