VSPPP
“And now for something completely different…”
I blow softly on my nails, willing them to dry faster.
I got a late start and had to rush. Sloppy. I almost messed up the heart decal on my right index finger.
Almost.
This business doesn’t give you a lot of second chances.
When I’m sure the polish is solid all the way through, I check my make-up one more time and then it’s time to hit the streets. It’s the night of the full moon. That works to my advantage. My night vision is good… for a human. The things I’m hunting aren’t human, and they don’t need moon light to see.
Of course, sometimes the full moon brings about other complications, but mostly… a full moon is a good thing.
I hit the streets sashaying. I vogue through alleys. I flounce around corners, my sparkly stake at the ready.
Like my prey, I’m hunting on instinct. There is no rulebook for the game we play, no instruction manual or one of those yellow books for dummies, either. You learn by doing, or you die in the effort.
The first hard lesson I learned is that while some of the plastic tiaras may be very pretty, you’ll wish you had something with real silver before too long. You can always buy a thrift store prom dress if you need to cut a few corners. You don’t skimp on the accessories.
I don’t know what draws me to the particular alley, but I’m already tensing when I hear the vic’s scream. I spring into action.
“Hey!” I shriek, in well-practiced tones of shrill indignation. “You’re not being very nice!”
The vamp doesn’t have time get out more than an “Excuse me?” before I have his heart, and then… well, it’s not clean like it is in the movies. Real vampires are dead and rotting on the inside. You can’t break through the outer shell, the thin veneer of humanity, without letting some of that rot out.
Blood and ichor spurts everywhere. I do my best to stay out of its way, but when you’re a Vampire Slaying Pretty Pretty Princess, a little ickiness on your leotard comes with the territory.
WTF?, you might rightfully ask… well, my friends, TITF:
If nothing else came out of the eConversation about ePublishing I eHad all weekend:
A stray remark from me describing a certain style of writing as being people “letting their inner Vampire Slaying Pretty Pretty Princess” out (or words to that effect) inspired Kate Paulk to write this vignette.
I told her I would write my own. I’d like to see it turn into a writing meme. If you have a writing blog, or even just a blog, write your own short-short (or a full fledged short story, if you’re feeling up to it) featuring some variation on the theme of Vampire Slaying Pretty Pretty Princess, and invite others who read it to do the same.
Become part of the VSPPP experience today!
Hmm. Lacking a blog or other venue of my own to post on, I have one question.
Would it be posible to add a VSPPP category on 365tales? I have trouble categorizing it.
Comment by Mazzon — December 17, 2007 @ 4:36 am
Please. Please make this into a serial.
Ariella Raspution Wallflower, Vampire Slaying Pretty Pretty Princess going Oh Em Gee.
Comment by Karacan — December 17, 2007 @ 6:00 am
Vampire princess miyu, anyone?
seriously, it seems… kinda cliche.
but maybe i’m theonly one that watches anime…
Comment by Miako — December 17, 2007 @ 7:04 am
Well, mine isn’t in the same league as AE’s offerings, but http://unisagi.livejournal.com/38449.html
Oh, and I’m the Amy from the forums.
Comment by Amy — December 17, 2007 @ 11:27 am
@Miako: It’s supposed to be clichéd.
The original comment which inspired it was about really bad amateur fiction built out of such clichés.
Comment by AE — December 17, 2007 @ 1:00 pm
That even got me itching to write one take
———
AJ sat in the kitchen staring at the table. The table was empty except for one strange object - a pencil with one of those gaudy pink star-shaped rubbers attached to the top. It had once belonged to his daughter, who even knotted several ribbons to the shaft, so it would match the scepter, the heroine of her favorite anime show had used. Last week AJ had stumbled over it when he had finally found the courage to put Mary’s belongings away.
Revenge, that’s been the only thing keeping him going since the night Mary had been butchered by a monster nearly a year ago. During that time he had to find out, that those monsters had most of the town in their pocket keeping this and similar incidents hidden. All he had accomplished apart from being robbed, mugged, wounded and nearly killed at least once, was grilling one of those brainwashed servants the vampires keep around - AJ’s greatest success so far, yet when his master turned up… that was the point when AJ finally gave up.
That’s the reason why AJ was staring at the table - last week when he picked up this thing he waved it around to examine it, the next thing he knew was waking up in his bed with a vague memory what had happened. The only proof was a small heap of ash and some small charred bones on his nightstand. For several days he had racked his mind whether he should try it again and hope to avenge her, although he would have only little hope of influencing the outcome, because he had been overcome with strange feelings when he used this “wand”. Finally he grabbed it and got ready to leave the house.
The cold wind blew through the small alley between the two old tenement blocks, the location of one of the entrances to the lair of one those leeches, the only one he knew. Cautiously he sneaked closer and finally drew out his secret weapon. A few dramatic gestures later he felt a tingly sensation in every part of his body followed by a flash of light. When he opened his eyes again, the alley seemed both larger and brighter. She made sure every ribbon on her uniform was on it’s right place and then gripped her scepter tight and marched to the door. She knocked on the locked door with her fist. After some time the door opened an inch or two and someone asked “what do you want?”. She replied “In the name of all that is cute, I am pretty sparkly princess and I am going to squeeze you!”. The door was jerked open and the residents laughed at the girl with the sky blue hair in a pink dress. She only whirled around, the ribbons on her dress flapped in the wind and cried “super sparkly cutefy!”, the scepter flashed. Moments later the room, now painted in garish colors and decorated with flowers, ribbons and stuffed animals was empty, save ten chibi-bodyguards and one chibi-vampire in the size of a sparrow.
Comment by TSchniede — December 17, 2007 @ 1:19 pm
Oh dear lord what have you started THIS TIME Lexy?
Comment by lerronatris — December 17, 2007 @ 4:30 pm
teehee *gigglesnerk*
Comment by Teh Penguin — December 18, 2007 @ 12:06 am
Hmm. Been looking for a 55 word idea… maaaaybe.
Comment by Carl Jeffries — December 18, 2007 @ 5:44 pm
I’ve got one! The link is here:
http://phantomcranefly.livejournal.com/2049.html
Spreading the meeeeeme…
(Not that anyone reads my journal, but hey.)
Comment by phantomcranefly — December 18, 2007 @ 7:18 pm
Hehe. Here’s one from me. *grins*
http://morningglorious.livejournal.com/4208.html
Comment by Rachi — December 19, 2007 @ 10:40 pm
Sometimes a casual remark is all it takes.
Back in 1983, Kim Metzger disparaged a trend he saw in Marvel Comics’ The Uncanny X-Men in his “Four-Color Comment” column in The Comics Buyer’s Guide. He was commenting on the intrusion of punk stylings into the character designs, which he viewed as triumph of style over substance to the point of warping the characters. He was specifically concerned with the recent change in Ororo “Storm” Munroe from her original long-haired and caped Nature goddess character design to a skintight leather bodysuit and short Mohawk. While he allowed that the new design was indeed striking in its “cool” edginess, it was totally out of character for her, in effect turning her into a completely different character with the same name and powers. He saw the same thing happening at DC with the Legion of Super Heroes, a sort of creeping hipness altering the face of comics, and not for the better.
“If this goes one, all of our beloved characters will be reduced to teenage mutant ninja with Mohawks!” he bemoaned.
From that offhand comment and the image it inspired, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were born.
Metzger was indeed prophetic. Within a few years, most of the nominal heroes had sprouted blades and chains and non-functional buckles and adopted such a dark demeanor that they more closely resembled the villains of old, only even nastier.
I foresee a similar wave of change springing from this, an unholy fusion of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the Powerpuff Girls, as if Princess Morbucks had indeed became genuinely heroic.
No good can come of this, I tell you. No good at all.
Comment by Zathras IX — December 22, 2007 @ 2:16 pm